the end, or the beginning!

ok so, I chose the day 1 workout yesterday! ah, it made my partner and I laugh. I have come a long way from day 1!

I cant believe it has been 90 days! this has been an emotional and tough journey, but so so rewarding.

I was thinking today, it mustv been some time back, mayby near the beggining of the PCP, where i was talking to a work mate about staying in shape and eating healthy. She was telling me how she very rarely if at all eats takeaways, and that she cooks her dinner every night. I could not understand how anyone

could go without ever eating takeaways. they were such a huge part of my diet that i just couldnt really get it. If i was tired, couldnt be bothered cooking, or felt unwell

- i usually had takeaways for dinner. mostly mcDonalds. But

now... i have no desire for McDonalds or takeaways. Now i get it. of course i have the odd oh yum! when i see it on tv, but i think about it a bit longer and imagine how greasy and unhealthy these foods are. This guy at work has takeaways at least 3 out of 5 times a week for lunch, i used to look at his food and really want what he had. now i look at it, and am a little disgusted that he puts that crap into his body so frequently. I also have the urge to say something to him - but as hard as it is i keep it to myself. ive said things before and he just looks at me the way i looked at my workmate when she told me she never eats takeaways, and people (my workmates) look at me like im a little nutty when i try to explain these things.

I wish i could spread my new goodness onto others, but really, unless you go through this magical journey of PCP or are really into the health scene yourself, people just dont get it, or dont really care. I sortv wish that my partner did this with me - he is reasonably healthy, and i tell him about what ive learnt, but ive found that unless you go through this process yourself, in one way or another, you just dont really get it. im not sure if that makes sense.

I no longer want to eat all those rotten processed foods at the supermarket (minus some items) such as bolonase sauce, white rice etc. i want freshness. i was gona buy some tandoori paste to put on my fish (try it its good!) but i decided not to buy the pack, but to make my own! haha.

an important thing that i have learnt is that gimmecks and quick weight loss regimes dont work. not in the long term anyway. the most important thing to be healthy and get into shape is the right food and daily exercise. I hear this all the time, but until i did the pcp, i just didnt get it. i was trying all sorts, i even brought the lemon detox diet before pcp and its still sitting in my cupboard. This was not the right way to go about loosing weight and keeping it off. so, i dont know what to do with it now. id give it away, but then it would be better for me to refer people to the PCP than to give them the detox!

Anywho, the thing is, not only have I lost weight and gotten into good shape thoughout this journey, i have learnt so so much, and i am so grateful to Patrick, his zen-ness and grate wisdom. The PCP has taught me so much and i hope to continue my new habits and what i have learnt and spread the word (to those who want to listen.haha) So thankyou Patrick!

Also, i want to thank my team SEXAAY team mates, you guys have been my rock throughout these 90 days, and i could not have done this without you! you guys kept me going on those days when i just wanted to give up! your support and wonderful comments really kept me going and i thankyou from the bottom of my heart!

I wish all the best to the current pcpers, keep going, you guys are doing great! it is so worth it at day 90.

and, congratulations to my team mates! we have made it! you guys have done a great job and are all looking amazing! woohoo!

ooh ooh, i did 3 full pullups on Sunday! holy moley!

So, my post pcp dinner was grand. prawn stirfry (with fish sauce, oyster sauce and singapore noodles) with a glass of wine, or two! yum. felt a little tipsy after the wine!

this is my last official post. but im not ready to say goodbye to ya'l yet. so im gona still post with some post pcp posts.

here are some day 90 photos!

Day 90 Day 8

Loose pants New work skirt

Day 89 bad bad week. old habits. last day tomorrow

wow so its our last day tomorrow! im excited to have it all over with but at the same time so so scared!

so i have a confession. ive had an extremley bad week. i havnt been feeling well, work is really shit and i sortv fell into old habits. i thought this was something i had under control, but my emotional eating reared its ugly head this week. ive had non pcp food this week. ive had chocolate a few times, some icecream and sundried tomatoes and olives in my salad. I did find that eating junk food made me feel even worse after because i didnt even need to eat it. it wasnt satisfying. so, i was gona keep that to myself as this is really stupid when i only had 1 week to go! worst way to end my journey, but its best just to put it out there.

so this is the biggest challenge i have ahead, not going back to old habits! i really dont want to undo all my hard work.

what does everyone else do when they are having a crap day?

Ive actually found too that exercising really makes me feel better. i feel better about myself and just happier. like how in one of emails Patrick was saying something about the endorphins. i have learnt so much over these past 3 months! im really really glad i did the pcp with my wonderful team mates and Patrick. ok so will check back in tomorrow with my pics for our last day!

Day 87 - nearing the end!

So, the last couple of days i missed my workouts due to feeling not so good. im at home today (really should be at work) and those super shoulders sets are killer. so so painfull! i had my music on so was having a bit of a boogie during as i had to take my mind off the pain. although i know Patrick said to focus on the pain, it hurt!

i did my first pull up the other day! and did one today too. wow. usually my partner has to lift me! so thats cool. only 1 tho.

woah, only 3 more days to go! i cant believe its almost been 90 days! its been so so great to be on this journey with team SEXAAY!

so i was thinking, when is it ok to have a treat? and how much is too much? is it ok to sit down every friday night with a dvd and some chips and chocolate? i dont really know when its ok. Can i have chocolate whenever i feel like it? you know, as long as i keep up my daily exercise?

as we near the end i am worried about this stuff. sometimes im just outa control when it comes to chocolate.

last weeks pics

Here are last weeks pics. for this weeks ill try change the resolution like Patrick said and wel see if i can get them on flicker. aaaargh no tights this time!

Slow internet

Well, i was gona post this weeks pics up, but it takes so long to get 1 picture up! Flicker wont let me upload either - error connection lost or something. so mayby my internet connection is too slow. but it worked before so i duno whats happening. so will have to put pics up when have some more time. gota get to bed soon, i wana get up early for my jumps!

jumps were a little tough, mostly cause my feet were hurting and my calf bone at the front gets sore. even tho the times are longer, i like that theres only two sets. its kinda the same times, but it tricks my brain. only 1 more set. yessss!

arrgh its only monday. boohoo. i want this week over already! work is so boring. and my tea and google search buddy left so its even more boring. boohoo. i have no one to waste time with.

ooh, i went shopping on the weekend. love that i have an actual size now. woohoo. before it was more like trial and error with clothes. and clothes just fit better now. its great.

my friend and i are gona start bikrum yoga soon - in the heat. should be good!

my belly just will not budge. it refuses to leave the vacinity. im not working as hard as i should be really.

ok night all.

Day 82

I had the yummiest tea tonight. pizza! but a healthy one. wholemeal wrap, i made the sauce with tomatoes, onion, basil and thyme, put some chicken, mushroom, capsicum and cherry tomatoes on with some spinich! and a sprinkle of parmersen. heres a pic - it dosnt look so great half eaten, but i was quite impressed with my base sauce! no need for that bottled stuff or cheese for that matter!

I had some of a brownie today. it was heaven. it was my friends last day at work. I wanted to eat the whole plate. but I ate my fruit. I know im going to continue healthy eating after pcp and i dont want to buy all that processed crap anymore. but chocolate, i just cant kick it. so, im gona have to have self control. im scared about that.

man, ive had a few confessions the last few weeks...

man those shoulder workouts are killer! ouch.

day 80

ok, so i didnt do my workout yesterday! i know i shouldve done it. I had a headache after work then i didnt feel that great for the rest of the night, so i didnt do it. naughty.

I just havnt been getting much sleep cause of my constant peeing throughout the night. it such a pain! even when i have nothing to drink like a couple of hours before bed - im still up what seems every 20 mins! what the hell.

I havent been swimming for the last couple of weeks either, or climbing for about a month! im being lazy. but my sore back isnt helping. its getting there tho.

im loosing motivation and it shits me. i keep forgetting to take this weeks photo! will do that in the morning and put up. i pretty much look the same as the last few weeks i think.

Day 77 - last indulgence

so, i had my indulgence on saturday, i knew what i wanted! so, i had a cookies n cream kit kat chunky bar which was so so good! then i had about half a pkt of grain waves - the first few chips were so tasty, then i had this awfull saltyness in my mouth - kindv like when you eat chillies and your mouth burns, except this was like salt and greasy burn if that makes sense. I then had half a choc muffin with half a white magnum icecream - this was just meh. well it all was really. But, i did quite enjoy the chocolate bar. I love chocolate. made me feel a little bit ill after tho.

so again, especially with the chips - i prob wont be craving those anytime soon.

2 more weeks to go!

Day 74 tough tough workout

so, my workout this arvo was bloody tough! man those shoulder exercises were killer. swiched pistol squats and creeps for lunges and squats cause knee still cant do those.

Im good at the jumps now. man, i found 3 mins so hard, now 6mins is a piece of cake. well sort of.

Ive been craving chocolate. mmm snickers.

my boss today while I had my egg white - 'you better not have too much protein or youl be big and bulky' oh yeah, shutup. he thinks he knows it all. im like hello ive been doing this for the past couple months, i dont need your know it all comments! and hes so wrong everytime. oh well.

its friday again! woohoo. im worried because i am so looking forward to the end of pcp cause i want chocolate. but i dont want to binge and get fat again. im also not where i want to be yet and i dont think i will be by the end (due to my daily honey eating etc), so in that case im scared too, not ready to finish, you know?.

ooh but it will be so nice to be able to do drinks and dinner with friends!

flicker is still being a pain in the butt so here's this weeks pics!

Day 73 Bloated

I get bloated everyday. little tummy in the morning, big tummy in the arvo. is there any good remedy for this? i hate it!

jump ropes are going really good, the workout yest was tough on my shoulders.

Im not making that much progress, and i cant stop eating honey. I really really want to get rid of my tum. I want a flat stomach and some abs. i need to work harder really.

I couldnt do my jump ropes this morn as it was raining. boohoo. so im going to the gym after work to do my workoout there (more room to do it there).

I kindv feel sickish alot - like a chocolate bar or something tasty would fix it. im getting sick of chicken i think. i have it like everyday.

25mins until i finish work! this arvo is dragging on!

Day 68

Jump rope for 5mins is so much easier now, ive figured out switching between feet kinda thing makes it way easier to keep going the whole time. so jump ropes are going really good.

i have to substitute other leg exercises for the pistol squats and creeps - my knee is bung again. it got better then i attemped pistol squats and it bunged up again. bugger.

have to substitute leg ups too, cause they still aggrevate my lower back. it was getting so much better after going to the chiro, but the leg ups stuffed it again.

I had macas for tea last night - just a garden salad tho! we had no vegies and its just down the road so got that and added my own chicken. haha the other week i had no fruit so went down there and got a packet of the kids apple slices! so thats handy.

Under my armpits and my shoulders are sore - must be workin them good.

felt like corn chips today. had an apple instead.

Im watching grease at the mo, great movie!

flicker photos

Ive posted my photos up here as I havnt been able to get them onto flicker.

Day 63

Day 57

Day 65 great workout

I had a great workout today. Got up at 5thirts to do my jump rope, then did the workout after work, it was fricken tough, but i got through it. needed a couple more seconds between leg ups but only a couple and pushed (struggled) through. was surprised i made the 6 sets!

feeling good again. definitly out of the valley. thankgod. starting to look good too. weoo! mu butt flab has gone down. yusssss!

still a bit more fat to go, mainly on my belly!

went for a swim last night - was great, i had the lane all to myself.

ok thats all for now. chow!

Day 64 - raw eggs

Ive been having the raw egg white blended with yogurt/and or milk with some cinnamon and nutmeg, yum, thanks for that suggestion guys! its soo good. however, I googled 'is it ok to eat raw egg white' and it came up that theres a possibility of getting salmonella from them, this is a little worrying - its only like in 1 out of 30,000 eggs, but still! so thats a bugger to know.

Got up this morn and did the jumps! this is rare - but i want to really give it my all this last month, so im plannning on doing these before breaky each day. 5 mins is a little tough, but when i change it up a bit (like swap feet etc) its not too bad and i can make it! minus the tripping.

I like this weeks menu, vege and protein for dinner! and fruit for evening snack...yum.

I still havnt done the 8min abs! need to get onto it.

I have 1 more confession. I didnt do day 60 workout as I got home late from visiting friends and was buggered. I just did the jump rope. I think ive past that stuck in the valley phase now and am on my way to the otherside, so I will be doing my best till the end. no more non compliant eating or skipping a workout.

everyone looks really great! congrats, chow! oh and i still cant flicker to upload my photos! is anyone else having this problem? ill put them up on the blog tonight.

Day 62 - crash and burn

ok, so confession time. tonight we went for dinner at my partners aunty and uncles and I ate what they cooked (had 2 pieces of ravioli, salad and garlic bread. so not too bad in the big scheme of things. then......i had the most delicious cupcake sized sticky date pudding with icecream! i am very disapointed in myself. although this is my first non compliant pcp binge - i shouldnt have done it. what can i say really, no excuses. naughty. shivers, i also had a couple (well 4 to be exact) crackers with a smidgen of cheese (which was greasy and gross by the way). i feel like i have let the team down, and myself, i was doing so well.

The motivaton i had before seems to be slowly fading, i dont know why, and i want to really put in 100% this last month, but its hard to stay focused if that makes sense, why now? its such a pain these feelings of 'ive had enough of this' wont go away.

ok so theres that out of the way. hope everyone else is going well

nite.